If Congress Worked Like American Ninja Warrior

One of the interesting things about American Ninja Warrior is that it’s so darn… positive. No, really. Where else do you see so much fun, enthusiasm, and grit—but no politics, complaining, or obnoxious egos? Actually, I guess it’s nothing at all like Congress, but humor me for a hot second and imagine if it was…

Everyone would spend most of their time back at home training diligently to get better.

Members would have to pay their own way to the meetings. As soon as the session was finished, they’d go back home to work their day job.

Career advancement and longevity would be determined objectively and strictly by job performance. No exceptions.

Lobbyists could only cheer from the bleachers while having absolutely no impact on the results.

All of the other Representatives would stand on the sidelines cheering for the one at the podium to succeed.

In the event of a deadlock, the two disagreeing members would have to race through an obstacle course 30 feet above the Capitol Rotunda floor.

When the going gets tough, Representatives would remove their shirts. Hey, I didn’t say this would be easy for the rest of us.

Of course, we’d have to find two ebullient commentators to do play by play. I’m thinking Tara Lipinksi and Johnny Weir.

And the best part? When they screw up, they fall 20 feet into a pool of water. On national television. The ad revenues alone would wipe out the national debt.