Beards may think they have all the best accessories in the world of facial hair, but there’s at least one they can’t claim.

While that small man’s corner in Cracker Barrel stores may stock beard wax, beard oil, beard nets, beard molds, beard trimmers, beard soap and beard candy, there’s one thing I’ve never seen advertised for the bearded mafia: a beard cup.

Like most styles and fashion statements, facial hair comes and goes, as do hemlines, the width of men’s ties and bell-bottoms. Currently, we’re in what experts call a Tsunami of facial hair resurgence. And while the bearded may think they dominate the mustache-only crowd due to sheer numbers, they’ll always envy the classiest of mustache accessories: the Mustache Cup.

The Mustache Brigade

Mustaches were such an integral part of Victorian-era society that the British Army actually required them. You heard that right.

From about 1860 until 1916, enlisted men and officers alike had mandatory upper lip fuzz, which had to be properly maintained. No beards were allowed, but improper mustache maintenance was grounds for disciplinary action.

The practice continued until 1916, in the midst of World War I. It turns out Army leadership decided keeping their soldiers alive was more important than looking debonair in uniform. They quickly discovered that gas masks wouldn’t seal properly if one had facial hair. Hmmm. Agonizing death from mustard gas or facial reputation? That’s an easy one.

Stiff Upper Lips

With mustaches all the rage in social circles, it was essential to properly maintain them. It’s hard to look distinguished, scholarly and manly all at the same time with scraggly facial hair.

We still joke about all those guys in the 40s and 50s greasing up their hair, ensuring not a one strays out of place. Nothing original there—the mustache militia figured out the value of appliqués a hundred years prior.

The solution? Mustache waxes, dyes, and other manly mane cosmetics. Hey, when all the most virile men shop at Ulta, it’s not so weird.

Mustache Murder

There’s always a bigger fish, and in the case of mustache predators, the threat was a parallel tradition—drinking tea.

Try downing a steaming cup of Darjeeling while sporting a waxed-up, stiff stache. If the liquid doesn’t get ya, the hot steam will quickly turn the most rigid facial decor into a wet mop. The result was predictable: the stiff upper lip quickly devolved into a sheepdog’s face after a losing bout with the water bowl.

The Stache Strikes Back

One Harvey Adams, a British potter, became the hero of properly mustachioed males everywhere. Somewhere around 1870, he invented a real man’s teacup. Admittedly, that’s quite an oxymoron.

Equipped with a protective “ledge” crossing the mouth of the cup, the design allowed tea through a small gap while offering a porcelain barrier between the cup’s contents and less-durable mustache wax.

Rise and Fall of the Follicular Empire

Then, the world changed. Gas masks in World War I, the advent of safety razors, and fashion whims led to the waning of sculpted facial hair. No more wax meant no need for ridiculous china cups. While the Mustache Cup achieved peak popularity in the 1890s, production continued until the mid-20th century. If you’re a tea-loving handlebar wearer, you’ll have to peruse antique stores to find a suitable chalice to avoid soiling your stache.