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Is it just me or is #outrage casserole usually served with a side of amnesia?

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Turn Coordinators

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

The truth is that we’ve made a costly mistake. Whoever coined the name “turn signals” is gonna have to correct millions of driving instruction manuals. That’s bound to piss someone off, except for maybe Amazon.com.

You see, that pole on the steering column isn’t at all intended to convey an intention. After years of fastidious observation, I’ve determined that it’s a turn coordinator, not a turn signal.

Next time you slam on the brakes as someone pulls a surprise Louie, note the sequence of events. You’ll see the brake lights illuminate, followed by a sharp entry into the turn. At that point, you’ll want to start paying close attention. If Ganymede is at least three days into its orbital cycle and other astrological conditions are favorable, you might be lucky enough to spot the elusive blinking light. If you’re fortunate enough to see one, it’ll begin about halfway through the turn. Oh, and buy a lottery ticket because Lady Luck is your BAE.

Most people don’t know this, but a turn coordinator serves to help guide the vehicle around corners. It’s complicated physics, but putting down the cell phone and reaching for the turn coordination handle shifts the car’s center of gravity, thereby easing the burden on the tires and suspension. I’m pretty sure you can thank the space program for this technology breakthrough.

The more you know.

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words to live by

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I’m reluctant to take one of those Ancestry.com DNA tests. Seems like it’ll be much harder to get away with murder.