Just when you thought that the world couldn’t misplace its collective mind one more time, a story from CNN warns of the societal dangers of robot racism.

Apparently, the Human Interface Technology Laboratory in New Zealand spent a wad of cash figuring out whether robots should be painted white, black, or some in-between color lest people react to them differently. Personally, I don’t care what color my robot is so long as it remembers to close the toilet seat.

Studies like these cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and sometimes millions. Without breaking a mental sweat I can think of a long list of more productive ways to spend that kind of cash.

  • Give the hosts of TV’s The Real a raise.
  • Purchase a new and improved TelePrompter for Joe Biden.
  • Fund Hamster Cosmetology scholarships for aspiring tiny mammal beauticians.
  • Donate a full-page ad for CNN in Satire Lovers Monthly.
  • Polish airport urinals.
  • Bring back 8-track tapes and Blockbuster stores.
  • Register Toad Suck, Arkansas as a National Historic Site.
  • Buy edibles for the Congressional lunchroom. Hey, it can only help.
  • Get a Masters Degree in Prancercize.

Sadly, the list of lost benefits to society is endless.

So, what to do? I suppose we could spray paint our robots some non-human color, like maybe orange. Then again, that might trigger somebody for its veiled reference to an unnamed sitting president…